How to pet a cat

Bet you weren't expecting this on a tech blog. Hear me out, I'm going somewhere with this.

Step 1: Find the cat

Picture this: You're walking down a street and you see a cat. It's seen you too. So you just walk up to it and pet it? Not just yet.

The cat will stop to watch you, and it will position itself in a way that it can run away if it needs to. Some cats will stand and watch you from their side, which is cat body language for "If you come anywhere near me I'm leaving". For cats like this, you leave them alone. The first important point of cat-petting is to realize that you can't pet every cat. Petting a cat depends on both you and the cat, and if the cat isn't interested you can't force the matter. Try to pet a wary cat and it will leave.

You can't pet every cat.

Step 2: Look at the cat

Cats are naturally timid, and they want to be sure that you are safe to be around. They do this through body language, and the most important form of body language here is eye contact. Look at the cat. Now look away. Look to the side of the cat. Pretend to not be interested in the cat. This is cat language for "I'm chill".

If you stare at a cat, or dog, or most other animals, you're telling it "I'm better than you and I'm going to attack you". This is why animals get weird when you stare them in the eyes. If you look at them and then casually look away you're sending the idea that you're comfortable around them, and this will let them drop their guard.

Have you ever had a cat walk into a room full of people and go for the person who hates cats? That's because everyone else stares at the cat and the person who doesn't like cats is more relaxed around them.

Pretend to not be interested in the cat. This is cat language for "I'm chill".

Step 3: Let the cat come to you

Gently crouch and extend a hand for the cat. Don't try to touch the cat just yet, just let the cat come to you. Rub your fingers together. Go pspspsps. Don't stare at the cat. Remember how cats are timid? They want to be in control of situations. They want an escape route in case something goes wrong. By letting the cat come to you, you're giving the cat control of the situation.

Maybe the cat isn't interested, and just stays where it is. That's okay. Maybe the cat comes closer and gives your hand a sniff. Let the cat do this, and then gently pet it's head. Well done, you've pet the cat.

Let the cat come to you.

What does this have to do with anything?

Sometimes we want things really badly, but the way we want them ends up pushing them away. Whether it's cats, jobs, relationships or anything else, sometimes we need to make sure our actions aren't getting in the way of what we want.